Girlfriend broke up with me because she needs to work on herself Depression and childhood trauma run deep and there’s absolutely nothing you could possibly have done to make her better. She's right in that she needs to help herself internally to love in a healthy way externally. I know she needs time, but I just dont want her or I to miss out. She still had feelings for me and we loved eachother, but she still needed to break up because it seemed like her mental health was a priority. I think it depends on whether they realise they need to do the work, but also on their personality. She started to get distant, texted / talked less to everyone, and just wasn’t herself. My girlfriend broke up with me because of anxiety/depression. Maybe I could have been more supportive or perhaps I was stressing her out because in the last 3 weeks of our relationship she started distancing herself and I wasn't aware of her situation and she couldn't give me the attention I was asking for. She needs therapy, journaling, self reflection whatever she needs it's from within her. The last week where she was in another town she realized that she just feels busted because she didnt know what to eat / do stuff etc. He doesn’t realize that she’s breaking up with him because she secretly isn’t So, she has said that she needs to focus on herself. 4,379 Satisfied After getting COVID she really just started spiralling and contemplated life and slowly things just went downhill. Even if she admitted that the only moment she has been happy and relaxed in weeks That's what is also strange. " If she wasn't having as much sex as you wanted, it may have been because she was losing attraction towards you (check #2 above). If you’ve dated for a short while and things have been heating up fast, your partner could be withdrawing because they’re overwhelmed. They might need a breather to get perspective about what they want. g. We had a lot of fun in this relationship, and I can't believe that she is breaking up with me. I always felt like we could overcome any difficulty because we loved each other so much. if you start thinking that your girlfriend broke up with you and is unable to love you because of her depression, you need to tread carefully. She isn't "working on herself" in any tangible way. I imagine she felt conflicted and guilty and struggled for a long time before she finally broke up with you. A woman might second guess herself, but she’ll probably cope with these feelings by convincing herself she My girlfriend (24f) broke up with me (28m) recently. She probably broke up with you because she wanted to protect you from the pain. Take What should I do if my girlfriend breaks up with me? If your girlfriend breaks up with you, consider the following steps. Still loves me and doesn’t want to but can’t be in a relationship with me for the time being. Four days ago, she lost her job and she decided to break up with me. You and your wellbeing is just as important as hers, and it is not up to you to kill yourself trying to make her feel okay about herself. She broke up with me in 2022 citing the reason that she lost feelings for me. She even told me that I’m the only person she feels comfortable to talk to about anything. The reasons for relationship breakups She's focusing on herself right now and she's being honest with you. now that she has her friend she has all the comfort she needs plus herself. She said she wants to focus on her career and she is not thinking about dating anyone atleast for the next 5 years. Please help . She gave me multiple reasons: 1] Told me she didn't see her in married life I imagine she wanted to break up with you way before she did. She didn't leave you to get back with you in the near future. Be well. She was going to quit and find a different job. My girlfriend just broke up me two days ago. Many times he gets his wish. We had some rough times and stupid fights but every relationship has them. I'll leave her alone as much as he needs me to. This could mean Your girlfriend might have felt that she was babysitting you if you have drunken habits and get too dependent on her. She was of sound mind when she broke up with you and if she wasn’t, all the more reason to stay away. And that's okay. Just make sure she knows that you still care deeply about her and again make sure her family and friends are aware that she’s struggling so that they can get her the help that she 7 signs your girlfriend is ready to break up. Imagine this. My ex broke up with me in the most cowardly way using “space” as the reason even though she said to me at the start of the relationship “I don’t do breaks, I just break up” so when she suggested space and then suggested a temporary break up I knew it was Your GF broke up with you because she wanted to break up with you. She now wants to try to be happy by herself, she doesn't want to be happy only because of me. Our relationship was great and she has admitted that I was the best boyfriend she has ever had. Our relationship was just starting and then a family member passed. TL;DR girlfriend got concussion, lost job and broke up with me to focus on herself. my girlfriend broke up with me on her bday . Continue reading below to know more such pr In this article, we will delve into the possible reasons why your girlfriend broke up with you to focus on herself and explore potential solutions for navigating this challenging situation. She becomes an individual again, so she starts looking out for herself rather than trying to care for you. she would tell me from time to time that she wasn’t happy with herself, and I always tried to encourage her to take a break and work on herself because I didn’t want her to be with me feeling she wasn’t happy and she always told me “I am My girlfriend of 5 years is saying she needs to be alone and work on herself. She said the main reason was because she has been used to being treated like garbage in her previous relationships and it freaks her out that I'm nice and respectful to her. It was shocking Yesterday, my girlfriend (f19) came over to my (m18) house early in the morning because she wanted to talk. You’re not mean for breaking up with her and you’re not doing anything wrong. She texted me saying that she loves me very much, hopes I have a good day, and that she can't She broke up because she didn't like you anymore but couldn't find a reason to do it, so she came up with that dumb excuse lol. Also she She says that she is very depressed, that she doesn't know herself anymore and that in this whole 5 years her only light has been me, that her only reason to live was me. It continued like this until a few days ago, when she suddenly told me in the night "I feel like we have to break up, I'm hurting you and it hurts because I know you don't deserve all this. You don’t need to prove yourself or explain Even though she gave me hints, we never went past the first base (I know, I am an idiot). Do you have any tips on how I can approach the love from a distance and things I may be able to do to work on myself? She’ll work hard to convince herself she made the right choice. Allow things to calm down between you and her (e. Unfortunately, it seems that the best decision was to break things off so that I’m forced to think for myself rather than depend on her. When she broke things off with me, she mentioned that she needed to work on herself too because I think she realized that she is not fit for a relationship where I’m constantly depending on her for comfort. 3 months of happiness and good times go by, but just 2 days after my birthday (2 weeks ago), she told me that she felt like she might be relapsing into depression. What she is saying is she feelings she might have lost herself in the relationship. When a guy is saying, “My girlfriend said she loves me, but broke up with me,” it doesn’t actually mean that the relationship is over. But after a couple of months she told me “we had grown apart” and we had a small argument about that but yeah just didn’t end She said all those things to me when we broke up. It takes mountains of dedicated effort and a deep deep want to change. She's now distancing herself from me with the occasional mean/harmful messages. She wants time to herself for her mental health, she has depression and anxiety and says that she’s doesn’t feel supported by me and that I don’t understand. ” I know someone who broke up with his girlfriend because she cheated a second time. However, that takes away most of her time and she is unable to look after herself. She said she checked out and had been thinking about it for over 2 months, and that she is already moved on and happy with her decision. . Focus on self-care and personal growth. Juggling a relationship AND your own mental health is a big ask and she clearly knows that. Of course she will never admit to me that a) she hasnt moved on or b) that shes into someone else but we'll see very soon. However, she has been feeling like her life is not her own and needs some time to work things We learn lessons, we contemplate what has happened and we put effort into building up ourselves and our lives again. We were together a year and a half and everything has been perfect until a couple months ago. She broke up with you. Your ex said she loves you because doing so allowed her to swiftly escape the relationship without addressing the consequences of the breakup. I do want her to get better so badly because weather or not she ends up being with me I know nobody who deserve to be happier than she does. Hello everyone. I (26M) was dating someone (23F) for a short while. I suggest that you immediately do the same. My ex told me she needs to focus on herself, after 4 and a half years together. I try to come up with every possible solution where i can be there for her and make sure she's okay while still giving her space to grow, but it's pointless. Depression might have been a major contributing factor here, but many depressed people choose to stay in their relationships. But she decided to break it up last week because she's not used to being treated well. In other words, she didn't want 4 common reasons why: 1. Reply. She said, crying, I can date In short: She broke up with me when I asked her for a long term commitment after three years of being in the relationship. If you want to break up with her, that is okay. If she feels she needs space to work on herself, it may be because often times in a relationship, a person may have trouble separating their identity from their partner’s- especially if the relationship is codependent or with unhealthy Then at around 10pm, out of the blue, she phoned me and told me that she can't cope with the pressure of a relationship, and that even though I was the best guy she's over met, she felt like she can't be with me and needed to sort herself out. The morning before the breakup we both had work all day. She probably doesn't know herself. It’s now been 3 days and nothing has changed. I'm glad she wants to work on herself. If she is so easily swayed by random people and listens to them more than the history of her 7 year relationship with you, her changing her location isn't going to help. why-makoto-kun Home > Break Up & Divorce > Questions > My My girlfriend kept telling me she wants a break because she needs some space and needs to work on herself. Is this a legitimate reason to end a relationship, or is their a bigger motive behind it. The thing that has been keeping me from breaking NC at the moment is the thought that if she was the one that was putting less effort instead of me in the later stages of our relationship, I wouldn’t have broken up with her the way she broke up with me, I would look for ways to fix things because every relationship goes through down periods. She was sick and didn't get the help she needed. She’s allowed to feel hurt about that without her hurt being his fault. I explained to her that here she was happy not because of me but because she was starting to live her life the way she wanted. She killed herself a few months later, and he was her last call. My long term girlfriend of 6. My girlfriend broke up with me because she said it just wasn’t working out and that I couldn’t give her the love she. Her throwing mental health in your face and blaming you for one incident when she herself struggles with mental health is bullshit. She told me she still loves me, and hopes that we find ourselves together again. She is a very avoidant person and is likely suppressing all her feelings. Respect her decision and avoid begging or pleading. She has a wild temper. If she’s interested in a different guy, you might be wondering why she doesn’t just break up with you and get on with it. I want to be there for her though, I feel like she should be leaning on me more and not pushing away. Honestly I would break up with her but make sure she has the resources she needs. She may need some time as she is still in the I do see a future with this wonderful girl. You’re completely right, I’m 25 and she’s been my first gf. It takes time and Just because she felt hurt does not mean he was hurtful. Stop talking to her friends/coworkers. Are you wondering what this means? In this video, I discuss why she has said she needs time to focus on Here’s what you need to know to get her back: 1. But in time, you'll feel less and less sad. She has trouble doing basic tasks, such As a result, she can have fun and enjoy herself with family and friends rather than pretending to be in love or happy with her boyfriend (when she’s not), or feeling upset and lonely because her friends and family don’t really want to support My girlfriend broke up with me but still loves me. This is why it’s 1 | They don't bother to ask about you or your day. My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me Because We Argued Too Much. It's not you it's her. Reach out to friends and family for support. Pro tip: Set a reminder for yourself to check in after a predetermined period of time that you both agree upon, rather than leaving it completely open-ended. She hasn't checked herself into a substance abuse treatment center. I went No contact for almost So my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me to work on some things about herself. She needed a couple months to work through things and find As a result, she will eventually get to the point where she breaks up with him and takes the time she needs for herself (e. She killed herself at her aunts birthdayparty, and she hated her aunt. After 8 months of being together, my girlfriend has recently told me that she wants to break up. Posted by u/International-Ad9216 - 1 vote and no comments Your girlfriend does not have time for you as she struggles at work. she never even came to me with how she felt. However, being aware of these common indicators can help you understand what your girlfriend may be thinking and feeling before she takes the difficult step of initiating a breakup. For a bit of context. Some says seemed perfect, and others she was too depressed to do anything. The girlfriend tends to take up the role of a mother in a romantic relationship. There was no other girl or anything like that he just decided he needed to be alone. I know the feeling of wanting to go back even with all the flags waving in the air. She says she really loves me and deep down doesn’t want to break up and neither do I. But i don't feel that way at all. I think she actually meant what she said, but it's hard to change oneself. You need to see if she's willing to really work on her issues because she sees how damaging they are for herself and the people around her. I thought about writing a letter to her to say everything I want to say, but I dont know if that will help or hurt. She said she doesn’t deserve me, doesn’t want to hurt me, and started to bring up reasons why our relationship wouldn’t work in the future. From there, give her 3 to 7 days of space where you don’t contact her at all. But no, she's already made up her mind and we're gonna 100% break up, taking a break is not an option because that would mean she would have me to fall back on and it would stress her out. My most recent girlfriend was similar (although she wasn’t toxic, she was lovely), and in all honesty I doubt shes doing any work on herself. Move on and give her the Once you’ve begun to make some adjustments and improvements to yourself (you don’t have to be perfect, you just need to be at a different level from where you were when she She told me I have always been enough for her (one of my big insecurities) but she didn’t feel like she was enough for herself. ” She was only able to experience that after she was alone for a couple of weeks until she started talking to me. to focus on her studies, hang out with friends again). A woman finds herself in a relationship that seems perfect. We had been together for 5 years, and were already discussing marriage. She decided to take a break to heal herself because it wasn't right treating me like this (that here she was happy with me and when she get back home she feels like shit, that I deserve more and so on). Or it may have been because her prerequisite It’s not your fault. It's simultaneously the worst advice and the most real. , they may be What should I do if my girlfriend breaks up with me? If your girlfriend breaks up with you, consider the following steps. She has been crying at nights and had no energy for daily activites. I don’t know what triggered her She goes on to say that “she ended her last relationship because she needed to be independent and find happiness in her own life. But instead she told me that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship period and that she needs to work on herself. She needed to "work on herself and love herself first before she could love me". She says she needs "time to work on herself" and "cant manage a relationship now". She was crying and I already had a bad feeling leading up to this. She mentioned that she loves me but she just needs time to work on herself. Not sure what that means, but okay. My girlfriend (24f) broke up with me (22m) about a week ago because she needs to focus on herself. And, oddly, he is conflicted when his wife turns back She may need more time for work, being alone to regain her energy, who knows. She told me I have always been enough for her (one of my big insecurities) but she didn’t feel like she was enough for herself. I’ve never felt more of a connection and compatibility with anyone in my life. Both me and my GF need to work on ourselves separately. ” He might then tell her that he will wait for her no matter how long it takes or that he doesn’t care that she is messed up. We have heard quite frequently that My girlfriend is depressed and broke up with me. What does it mean when she says she needs to work on herself? Says the relationship makes her be too comfortable and she isn’t growing, and time apart In many cases, a girl may break up with you to work on herself because she feels that she needs to focus on her own personal growth and development. She There was one low point last year where she admitted herself to the ER and that night I tried to break it off with her because I felt like I was causing her too much emotional pain and it was my fault she ended up in the ER. EDIT: I'm gonna do it. It's never easy to recognize the signs that a relationship is coming to an end. He feels like it was his fault because he didn't pick up, but it wasn't. That’s what she wanted for you. I loved her for who she was and didn’t care if she “dragged me down”. Right now she needs to focus on herself so she can get better. You gave her a shoulder and compassion that’s the best anyone can do. In what other way did he do anything to hurt her? And, in any case, nobody deserves to suffer. She said she doesn’t want me to wait for her as she doesn’t know when she will be able to take on the commitment of a relationship again. She flew home for the funeral and to spend time with her family. He broke up with her. If she is not sure whether she will get back to you or not then you have My (27M) girlfriend (22F) and I broke up at the end of August after dating for about a year and a half. She told me she knew she would regret this as I've been "her rock" and she didn't know where she'd be He would give anything if she would just change her mind and decide to stay with him and not break up the family. She said that she didn’t want a break in our relationship because she didn’t want me to wait for her because at the end of it she might want something else but somehow i’m dealing with it as a break in the hopes that she’ll come back. She won’t listen to me no matter how much I try and convince her that she can do it alongside me. herself and if you try to save her she will destroy you before she gets to the point where she can possibly realize she needs to help herself. Her entire 20s was filled with her trying to appease my every need while she put herself second and she was tired of living a life of unhappiness. The Police won't assist me in the break up, they don't have any 72hr psych and they told me that they can't do anything unless she actually tries to kill herself. When she says she needs time, sometimes it just means she’s got another guy in mind. I am new to this forum and I have a question about a relationship problem. On some level, I know its true that she should concentrate on fixing her financial situation. Shes bringing me my belongings that she had tonight, im gonna try to get to the bottom of it. Sadly she has had an awful time throughout the 30 weeks with constant sickness, headaches - she has been signed off long term sick from work as well. A month ago, she called me late at night to break up with me, saying "It's not you, it's me. She started explaining things and I said, “If you’re going to break up with me just leave. If she wants to talk she can talk to me. And its obvious that she She is 30 weeks into the pregnancy, and she broke up with me a couple weeks ago. Your girlfriend left and says she needs to work on herself. Ongoing support for break ups. "my coworkers keep asking why I'm with you. But you'll have to accept that you two can't be together. I provided her safety, unconditional love, a space where she could be herself without judgement. This won't work because no matter where she goes, there will be people there. She wants to move on with her life without you in it. 5 years broke up with me over the weekend because she had connected with a guy a few weeks ago and started to question our future together. She can end the relationship for any reason she wants. Unfortunately I think you need to go no contact on this one. She apologized for never taking up my offers of trying new hobbies and meeting new friends. She isn't in a sweat lodge But she told me that she loved me, that everything was fine between us, that how she felt had nothing to do with me or our relationship. So recently, my girlfriend broke up with me due to her serious need of fixing her mental health. She tells me that she “needs to find herself and what makes her happy in her own life. I don’t see any evidence here that he hurt her. ” She said she was breaking up with me but didn’t want to leave. They usually say it’s not you, it’s me. 3. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. So, give her a chance to say what she has to say for herself. Hey, she might even be willing to apologize and work on herself. She has a lot of trauma from her childhood. 19 A week on and she says she can’t be back in this relationship at the moment and she needs time and space to work herself out. Maybe this was on her mind as she put off breaking up with you in the last year or so. She may be angry with her boss, dealing with office politics, or just overwhelmed with her responsibilities. I get it, we're breaking up. She needed a couple months to work through things and find herself. Respect It hurt hearing that she hadn’t felt herself in a while and I didn’t know how to take that. She told me she just hadn't been feeling herself lately, that she thinks she's depressed, but that it feels quite different than her usual seasonal depression. She did know I was a virgin with no prior experience and said she would guide me and I took that for granted: naively waiting for her to take the initiative. because she will only turn back to you if she is about . If she can't/wont work on herself you can't save someone from So, a week ago she broke up with me as she has a lot going on in her life (dad is sick with alzheimers, she was sick with endo, work issues, etc) and she had suppressed depression and anxiety (which she is medicated and sees professionals for fairly regularly and has done for years) that had been building up and taking a toll on her to the point where she felt that she couldn't Oftentimes, in today’s times, depression leads to break up. She was unhappy with herself and wanted to break up and said she wanted to work on herself for me. It's extremely unlikely that you will reconnect romantically and it's really unwise to pin any hopes on that. Because she waited so She said she did not feel like she had grown up and was still stuck with the mindset of a teenager. She said she hasn't been herself, and she has just kept quiet about things so we wouldn't argue. She convinced me that it wasn't and that she would seriously work on herself and go to dbt more often and everything. Don’t be aggressive, and actively listen to her arguments. It hurts. Lastly, I have been told this same thing before by a girlfriend who broke up with me, as yours told you. But she says it doesn't work for her like that, and breaking up was the only good thing to do right now. I’m messed up and I need time to heal. I told her that I can give her all the time she wants, she doesn't have to break up with me for that. Work could be She will get better. iStock. She claims she still "loves me so much", but she needs time to "find herself" because she "lost herself in our relationship". She hasn't checked into a boobyhatch. she gets a chance to think about her decision, she starts to miss you, she sees that you’re not desperately She told me that she needs to improve herself and needs time away. It’s usually because Me (21M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been together for a year and now she wants to take a “break”. Anyways, I asked her to define what a break means like can we date other people. Encourage her to open up because all of these problems might have something to do with the bad experiences that she had in the past or her mental health issues. She was depressed before the pregnancy, and I believe she has become further depressed during the pregnancy. John-Michaels | 25+ years helping resolve relational issues. someone she met at work, at the gym, on social media) and wants to pursue a relationship with him. Give yourself time to process your emotions. My ex broke up with me because he decided that he needed to be single to work on himself. My girlfriend and I broke up last night Sept. If your partner doesn't want to engage in conversations about you, your day, job, hobbies, interests, etc. The two weeks leading up to it, she had already asked for space. We are still talking as much, She told me a couple months ago she is to overwhelmed and is sorry for how she has been treating me. This gave rise to a big argument. Maybe you’re ready Lmao funny you say that because she broke up with her ex of 5 years about 3 months before I met her. 8 Reasons Why She’s interested in someone else (e. My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because she didn't feel the spark anymore. When in a relationship, it’s only natural that a woman (and a man) will have to make some adjustments Last week she decide to break up with me because she wasn’t happy and that she had many family issues and needed time to find herself and to find why she was so depressed. So then the realization kicked in for her that she needs to change things for her to be happy in the long run. If you are in a situation like that, what you need to do is work out why she has really broken up with you My girl broke up with me because she's not stable fully ready yet but wants to comeback in the future . When she's better, she'll see things more clearly and perhaps you two can make it work. You do read like having been a loving, loyal boyfriend to her. She didn't. Understand that many women use that as an excuse to break up with nice guys. BUT, it will never be you that can help her because she will always remember you as an enabler. I'm gonna drive to see her tomorrow, take my parents with me as support and I'm gonna end it. mwvn kycgr hhxbhw hfp urvab osha tzcm fouwmm wvxp swy ukyr ctds blet ipxybf sxt